caffeineintolerant

伤

2010-05-28T04:38:00.002+08:00

剑后一人喝悲酒，
断意碎神已过周，
盼望明日心能休

Stop the clocks!

2008-01-19T23:45:00.000+08:00

I have not made entries as much as I liked or should have or as much as I wanted to, and to compensate for that all I can say is that there were many highs and lows(more than I like). But highs do not come without lows. If you don't get what I mean I meant to say its hard to taste the sweet without feeling some down times where you feel like you need a great overhaul inside and out. Still don't get what I'm saying? I'm saying its been great to be back in church after a long hiatus (4, 5 months?) since the last week of 2007. I'm as excited as excited is and nothing beats a change of heart and having a great and swell time with the Man, the Savior, period, ever!

Ok stop, enough of trying to sound like an incoherent Brit, which I fail terribly.

I bought the Stop the Clocks compilation of songs by Oasis today, went though an interview of Noel and Liam Gallagher about the band and by the time I was done with one live concert I was ready to pick up the guitar and yell my lungs if not for the sleeping missus and kids. Oasis is GREAT GREAT GREAT!!!!! ARGHHHH!!!. Did I say they are GREAT!!!?? One of my favorite bands of ALL time among some other Brit ones like Muse, T Rex and Queen, all which I feel seriously kick the butt of most American bands nowadays, who have almost the same sounds which I can't tell one apart from the other. I can never get enough of the brilliant melodies of Brit bands, most of whom got their influence from the Beatles, and their non-pretense/ poseur attitude as compared to the american ones. Yes lassies and lads, I love Brit rock and roll and I'm unashamed of it!

I can't wait for a quiet moment alone when I can hug my guitar and belt out Wonderwall, Don't look in anger and most of all the sonic Champagne Supernova, mixed in with an emo moment real LOUD! Hey but settle down soon enough Brit rock and roller wannabe, it's church service tommorrow! So Sally can wait. No! So Stanley can wait! :)

O Hannah my Hannah! =)

2007-11-29T22:23:00.000+08:00

Attention Deficiency

2007-11-29T21:44:00.000+08:00

I searched and went through the bookshelf to look for my American Prospects by Joel Sternfeld, and for about 15 mins went through every photo book with no avail. A little nervous, after all it is one of my favorites. I texted Khengli to confirm that he did return ages ago, but 'Never borrowed your book, sorry' was the reply. At last I went back to sit down at my desk, befuddled and wondering. And then lo and behold, I caught it in its quiet biding from the left side of the laptop, on top of the half done catalogue for this sunday's photo fair.

It wasn't there before, I did not see it on the bookshelf, nor did I leave it there. June is putting Joash to sleep, and my mother in law is watching television. Question that I ask myself is how did it appear on my table? I have absolutely no remembrance.

I swear to God I had not seen nor touched it.

O Captain my Captain!

2007-09-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may

2007-09-09T23:54:00.000+08:00

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,

Old time is still a-flying;

And the same flower that smiles today

Tomorrow will be dying.

Robert Herrick, 1591 - 1674
To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time (First paragragh of)

Increasingly Unfamiliar

2007-09-03T22:17:00.001+08:00

You are a paradox I hope I can one day understand, I hate you and love you. Happy Belated.

Quarrelsome Couples

2007-08-11T12:01:00.001+08:00

Thank God Hannah's OK

2007-08-09T00:09:00.000+08:00

Hannah is fine, started kicking about 2 hrs after June woke from the GA. Thank God thank God thank God, thank God.

God, tommorow...

2007-08-05T22:57:00.000+08:00

God,

I lift June up into Your hands, tommorrow as she undergoes surgery and be put on GA, that she and Hannah will be fine. Bless the hands of the surgeon, Geogette Chan, as she operates on the cyst. Help me God, to be June's support and with my often absent-mindedness in any case from the many thoughts which could stray into my heart and mind. We lift up ourselves into Your hands, and thank You for the many friends who surround us in prayers, show us Your grace and draw us near into Your presence once again,

In Jesus's name, Amen.

p.s.
and God before I forget, do stop any annoying calls from work as well,
amen.

Dead Sea, Israel

2007-07-30T00:24:00.001+08:00

Confession

2007-07-28T22:15:00.000+08:00

Lord I'm hungry

For a mighty move of God

Lord I'm thirsty

Pour out Your Holy Ghost

Lord I want to see

The hand of God

Move mightily inside of me

I'm hungry for the move of God.

喜 Part 2 =D

2007-05-01T23:32:00.000+08:00

Not quite senseless yet

2007-04-22T05:12:00.000+08:00

What I have done from 4:40am to this time in writing,

1. Printed 20+ pages of research info bookmarked yesterday

2. Listened to 2 tracks by Sarah McLachlan

3. Finished the 'tae si peng' left in the fridge 8 hours ago

4. Took a shower

5. Clean out the mess in the fridge from the 'tae si peng'

6. Threw out the left over bits of fruits bought on thursday

7. Took a huge spoonful of 'Pi Pa Gao' in anticipation of a sore throat and the recurring cough

8. Listen to Corrine Bailey Rae's crooning while making this rather senseless entry

Insomniac

2007-04-22T04:37:00.000+08:00

I'm wrecked, from a body that doesn't rest and a mind that refuses to sleep. And its 4:40am already...

恩，病

2007-04-20T09:18:00.000+08:00

Devan, April 15 2007, Straits Times Interactive

2007-04-19T12:06:00.001+08:00

Below is a writing from ST journalist Janadas Devan. Singapore need journalists like him, and editors with the guts to publish writings like this one.

Janadas Devan, April 15 2007 -

SINGAPORE has come through a rather gruelling week. Money - who has it, how much, who doesn't, why - there is no more controversial issue.
In what follows, I don't expect to resolve the debate on ministerial and administration service salaries to anyone's satisfaction. But perhaps a brief glossary of some terms that came up during the parliamentary debate on the issue might help us get our bearings.

Politics, politicians: These words come from the Old French politique, via Latin from the Greek politikos. And politikos, in turn, comes from the Greek polites, which means 'citizen'; politeia, 'citizenship'; and polis, 'city'.

In other words, the Greek word for 'city' is the base for 'citizen', 'politics' and 'politician'. The word 'policy' - as in 'government policy' - also derives from the same source, polis.

City, a defined territory, produces a community, citizens. Citizens, regulating themselves, produce politicians. And politicians, devoting themselves to the welfare of the citizenry, produce policy for the city. From polis to polites to politikos to policie to polis - it is almost a perfect Platonic circle.

So how did 'politics' and 'politicians' become terms of abuse soon after they entered the English language in the 16th century? One of the earliest definitions of 'politician', according to the Oxford English Dictionary (OED), was not the respectful 'one who practises the science and art of government'. Instead, it was the insulting 'a shrewd schemer; a crafty plotter or intriguer' - a definition that the OED rather hopefully, and misleadingly, classifies as now 'obsolete'.

In fact, it has never gone out of fashion. Shakespeare, almost soon after 'politician' appeared in English, wrote: 'Get thee glass eyes, and like a scurvy politician, seem to see the things thou dost not.' He was merely echoing what Euripedes wrote in 425 BC: 'Spare me the sight/ Of this thankless breed, these politicians/ Who cringe for favours from a screaming mob/ And do not care what harm they do their friends,/ Providing they can please a crowd.' And if one looked up The International Thesaurus of Quotations, or any other standard compilation of quotable quotes, one would find those same themes echoing down the ages in various societies.

There is Walter Savage Landor (British): 'In argument, truth always prevails; in politics, falsehood always.' There is Will Rogers (American): 'If you ever injected truth into politics, you have no politics.' There is Nikita Khrushchev (Russian): 'Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.'

How did we get from that perfect Platonic circle to all this? Let's see:

Government/Governance: In his speech to Parliament on Wednesday, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong observed: 'In the old days, they called it government, now they call it governance. Sounds a bit more erudite but basically it means it's become more complicated.'

Both 'government' and 'governance' are nouns and the OED uses identical words to define them: 'the act or manner of governing'. But 'governance' is almost as old as 'government', first appearing in English in the 14th century. It has been used variously to mean: 'controlling, directing or regulating'; 'good order'; 'the manner in which something is governed or regulated, method of management, system of regulation'; 'a rule of practice, a discipline'. Thus 'governance' has been used in various contexts, ranging from 'clinical governance', referring to standards of care in hospital systems, to 'corporate governance', referring to standards in business conduct, as Mr Michael Quinion notes on his World Wide Word site.

All these various meanings of 'government' and 'governance' have their root in the Latin gubernare and the Greek kubernan, which means 'to steer'. 'The act or manner of governing', in other words, has always hinged on how one directs, navigates, positions - 'steers' - the ship of state.

(As an aside, it is worth noting that 'the Middle English governess was originally spelt governeress meaning a 'female ruler'', as The Oxford Dictionary Of Word Histories informs us. English, it would seem, had feminist instincts centuries before England got a female ruler in Elizabeth I.)

We commonly call governors who steer the ship of state well 'statesmen' - 'a person skilled in affairs of state', 'a distinguished and capable politician', as the OED defines the word - not 'politicians'. A statesman, it may be true, is often a 'politician who has been dead 10 or 15 years', as Harry Truman put it cynically once, but we generally resist conferring the title on run-of-the-mill politicians. Precisely because politicians have so often soiled the polis, we have imposed on politics a touchstone, a benchmark, as a means of distinguishing mere politicians from the 'distinguished and capable' ones - the 'statesmen'.

And there we have the word that resounded in Parliament last week:

Benchmark: The word indicates broadly 'a standard, point of reference, criterion, touchstone'. Surveyors were among the first to use the term to indicate 'a mark cut in a wall, pillar, building, etc, used as a reference point in measuring altitudes'. More recently, the term has been applied to the evaluation of the performance of computer systems 'by comparison with a benchmark' - thus 'benchmark test'.

There is no need to rehearse here the endlessly rehearsed monetary benchmarks for ministerial and civil service salaries in Singapore. Instead, let me explain why politicians were 'scurvy' to Shakespeare. Because there were precious few benchmarks, monetary or otherwise, for high offices of state in his time.

'From the nobleman...down to the humblest tidewaiter and gauger, what would now be called gross corruption was practised without disguise and without reproach,' wrote the 19th-century historian Thomas Babington Macaulay. 'Titles, places, commissions, pardons, were daily sold in the market overtly by the greatest dignitaries of the realm; in the 17th century a statesman who was at the head of affairs might easily, and without giving scandal, accumulate in no long time, an estate amply sufficient to support a dukedom.'

One can still observe similar practices in many parts of the world today. Here are the annual 'official' salaries of senior government officials in a South-east Asian country: Head of Government - S$120,000; his deputy - S$96,000; ministers - S$79,000. Those are sums that cannot possibly support dukedoms. And yet, dukedoms are precisely what some of these officials have managed to support on their un-benchmarked - un-governed, un-steered - unofficial incomes.

Why has politician as 'shrewd schemer; a crafty plotter or intriguer' never gone out of fashion? That's why.

Blog Revisited

2007-04-19T10:43:00.000+08:00

What's in a blog?

Of late this blog has become more of the proverbial secret hole in a tree, where in stories people go find a hole in a tree trunk to confide their burdens and secrets into, and then fill it up with soil, hoping it never to be found or uncovered.

I hate to be superficial, but at times it could be necessary. How much do I have to be honest? It has not been a popular personal policy to uncover myself, and thus explains the cryptic writings and quotations. Sometimes I amaze myself by my own tendency to be truthful, but it is difficult to write and there are many gaps here. So many things have happened the last 2 months and this hole is not filled up as it would had been.

Restrain is probably a good thing.

Joash, how daddy's insanity could not had been contained if not for you. How I love you, and how you are the brightest spot in the universe. And thank God for my wife, my ever long suffering Charles and Bro Edmund, who have been there with me, whom without I would have nothing to grip on, through the meltdown you that guys know.

So, what should be in a blog? Overt, covert or foolishly trivial?

I really don't know.

Ritalin

2007-02-20T01:52:00.000+08:00

Methylphenidate is used to treat attention disorders (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD) as part of a total treatment plan including psychological, educational and social measures. This medication is also used to treat patients with narcolepsy (a disorder of sleep regulation). When this medication is used to treat ADHD, patients may find they have increased attention, decreased impulsiveness, and decreased hyperactivity. This medication is a mild stimulant that works by affecting the levels of chemicals (neurotransmitters) in the nervous system.
This medication should not be used to treat simple fatigue symptoms.
Other uses: This medication may also be used for treating depression in certain cases.

How to use Ritalin Oral
This medication is best taken 30 to 45 minutes before a meal or as directed by your doctor. If loss of appetite occurs or if you experience stomach upset, it may be taken with or after meals or snacks.
Use this medication regularly in order to get the most benefit from it. To help you remember, take it at the same time(s) each day. It may take up to two weeks to notice an improvement while on this drug.
Use this medication exactly as prescribed. Dosage is based on your medical condition and response to therapy. Your doctor may instruct you to gradually increase or decrease your dose. Do not increase your dose, use it more frequently or use it for a longer period of time than prescribed because this drug can be habit-forming. Also, if used for a long period of time, do not suddenly stop using this without first consulting your doctor.
This medication may cause dependence, especially if it has been used regularly for an extended period of time, or if it has been used in high doses. In such cases, if you suddenly stop this drug, withdrawal reactions may occur. Such reactions can include severe depression and chronic overactivity. Report any such reactions to your doctor immediately. When stopping extended, regular treatment with this drug, gradually reducing the dosage as directed will help prevent withdrawal reactions. Consult your doctor or pharmacist for more details.
Though it is very unlikely to occur, this medication can also result in abnormal drug-seeking behavior (addiction/habit-forming). Do not increase your dose, take it more frequently or use it for a longer period of time than prescribed. Properly stop the medication when so directed. This will lessen the chances of becoming addicted.
When used for an extended period, this medication may not work as well and may require different dosing. Talk with your doctor if this medication stops working well.
Inform your doctor if your condition persists or worsens.

WebMD (20 Feb 2007)

Whether or not

2007-02-13T00:08:00.000+08:00

God,

help me remember this,

in my despairs,

whether I am willing, or not...

What a friend I've found
Closer than a brother
I have felt your touch
More intimate than lovers

Jesus, Jesus
Jesus, you're my friend forever

What a hope I've found
More faithful than a mother
It would break my heart
To ever lose each other

Martin Smith ©1996

This one's for the record

2007-02-03T16:15:00.000+08:00

It was 5am and I was the last in the convoy of vehicles cruising along the SLE. What I had not expected even if I put my life on it was that a speeding truck smashed into the back of our Rover and sent it spinning out of control. According to witnesses the truck followed through after a distance and smashed into it again on the right side, sending it into another spin.

I had no idea of the second hit, I was bracing myself for the vehicle to flip a few times from the impact and petrified with the possibility of being fatally injured right there and then. When the Rover finally came to a halt I was shaken but more relieved that the vehicle did not overturn and that I was not injured or dead yet. The truck had also came to a stop behind us, with it’s front almost totally smashed.

But my worry was far from over. My young driver, who told me before we left camp this was his first driving assignment, was slumped on his seat motionless. I was not hurt so I quickly get out of mine and went over to the other side to get a better access to him to check on his injuries and extricate him out but the door wouldn't budge.

To make matters worse, the fuel tank was spilling fuel all over the bottom of the vehicle. Rescuers sprinted from the vehicles before us and attempted to open the door. At that moment it seemed like the worst could have happened, which was the fuel catching fire. I climbed back into the seat beside my colleague and helped him out though the other way. It was the last choice in mind as he seemed to have suffered injuries to the neck and it was preferable his neck was immobilized before moving him, but I had to before the two of us end up cooked in a fireball in the middle of the expressway.

To make this account short after being retold countless times this morning we were eventually hurried to the hospital and were discharged today. Nothing was broken in both of us, however I was put on strong painkillers for the pain in my back and my young ward went home with a neck collar.

All of this seems almost unreal if not for the reason I'm home because I was taken out the exercise and the nagging pain I have in my upper back when I move too much. Was told the back of the Rover was smashed and if anyone was behind it he will be as well. Just before moving off I offered my front seat to a more senior colleague, which he kindly refused. If he had taken my offer, I would have been at back of the vehicle and then eventually a casualty. And also if I had not made a last minute decision not to bring another young instructor along he would have been the one.

This one's for the record, fresh from my memory. I was stolen from death and I thank God I'm still alive today.

恩

2007-01-23T20:31:00.000+08:00

Drive

2006-10-22T00:43:00.000+08:00

I don't mean to pry
But I'm seeing signs I can't ignore

You've been holding something deep inside
And I can't keep quiet anymore

Of the urgency, I'm well aware
I'll take you anywhere
If you're dissatisfied

Let's just drive
Take a deep breath and I swear
Everything will be alright
Let's just drive
Until it gets us somewhere
Even if it takes all night
Let's just drive

I know you thought we were the same
We're two different kinds

I've been following a narrow lane
You follow yours where it winds
Now it's time to get in gear
I'll take you far from here
If you're dissatisfied

Let's just roll, away tonight
Let's just roll away until we get it right
Let's just drive

All Star United(1997) Reunion Records

For the IMF delegates

2006-09-21T16:05:00.000+08:00

So you guys came and left, and commented on your appreciation to the Four Million Smiles campaign and of our hospitality.

But what you probably didn't know is that in the bowels of my country many things are a lot different from what you think it is.

Just like how a woman who brushed my pregnant wife aside rudely in the underground train this week to contest for a seat a young man gave up for her. And not to mention the countless instances when people just suddenly just 'fell asleep' when pregnant ladies come on the train. Don't be mistaken that my wife and I are snobs and demand to be serviced in the train each time we board it, but I thought you should know what we are really like for the majority.

Yeah right, Four Millions Smiles my ass.

Escapism

2006-09-17T22:49:00.000+08:00

What will you do, to run and escape from yourself?

Wishful Thinking

2006-09-12T22:01:00.000+08:00

I thought It was gone and was resolved, but It never really was. And that I thought that It will be replaced by a superpower, but that was all wishful thinking. It stops me from seeing the dream.

And this migraine is perpetual, both thorns of this flesh is getting deep into me.

Seasons

2006-09-05T22:55:00.000+08:00

It's time to dream, time to built again.

Soggy Arches

2006-08-28T18:32:00.000+08:00

You will know that the novelty and justification to order McDonalds in the wee hours has just went out of the window when you open the paper packaging to discover a cold soggy burger, half-limped french fries and a diluted Ice Milo.

What a rip off.

Was following online bloggers who have a thing or more to say about our almost one party government, of promises, ideals, etc. before door bell rang.

What cunning resemblances of the former and the latter.

Mutation

2006-08-21T23:14:00.000+08:00

'What have We become?'

This is the question I ask myself after reading the National Day Rally speech.

Hexagon

2006-08-19T15:35:00.000+08:00

Overheard in the canteen, where two seemingly well read reservists were ranting about how the structural factors of the World Trade Center contributed to its total collapse despite it being hit in the mid sections. Was pretty engaged in my eavesdropping until this came up,

A: You know this is what I call 'creativity' by the terrorists, they know where to hit to maximise damage

B: They very bold, they even attack the White House

A: No no, they didn't attack the White House, its a military building, what's the name? I forget already, eh...ah.. (trying to recall)

B: Eh, eh.. Oh, the Hexagon correct?

A: Yes, the Hexagon

Me: ???!!! :(

'He who loves to hug poles'

2006-08-12T19:28:00.000+08:00

I found out this morning that this is probably what I will be known as if I'm an Injun on roller blades. Deanna and Kheng Li bear as witnesses.

Neighbour's dog

2006-07-26T14:46:00.000+08:00

I am persuaded, that the mutt next door to my flat needs to be exorcised.

I'd rather be...

2006-07-24T00:13:00.000+08:00

My first tag by Terz, so here it goes :)

I’d rather be Dr Evil than Austin Powers (Evil’s one crazy endearing mofo).

I’d rather be alone than to suffer the company of fools.

I’d rather give a loud and rude ‘EXCUSE ME!’ when I’m trying to get out off or into a MRT train blocked by obviously inconsiderate people than to forever hold my peace.

I’d rather be a full time photographer than to be in my current day job.

I’d rather be playing World of Warcraft 24/7 (just started last week) than to go to work everyday, ha!

And the tag goes to.... (drum roll)
1. Deanna
2. Boon Keong
3. Aidah

On Shooting Products

2006-07-15T23:27:00.001+08:00

Did my first product shoot today for a friend which went on pretty well, considering I do not shoot stills much. Was wondering how the heck was I to light the subject but I was duly surprised at how natural light in the late afternoon do wonders. When I was starting to think more about documentary photography when I first discovered it, I did scoffed at most things set up but I guessed I took it too seriously.

Product shoot or any shoots that are set up for that matter is not life and death, and if it does bring in extra dough, why not?

Stan, you really got to start to loosen up a little.

Lego

2006-07-12T23:01:00.001+08:00

Just came back from the hospital, feeling knackered but it's all good.

She'e feeling better and in much better spirits too. We took out the Lego house set I bought her yesterday to assemble. It says for 7+ and up on the box, but for a set that is this big and has as many pieces as this one, it takes one to sort out the different myriad pieces and the other to fix it.

Everything's looking good. Will be back again tommorrow.

Caffeine Intolerance

2006-07-12T03:51:00.000+08:00

There is something I have to say today.

This morning, in the wee hours. I'm not tolerant of coffee.

Or caffieine for that matter.

I had a cuppa at a hospital cafeteria at about 4pm (yesterday). Almost 12 hours ago.

And I still can't sleep.

I read a few blogs here and there.

Musings of our lion state made my mind more active and go into overdrive, and the neighbour's light from his window peeping into my bedroom isn't helping either.

I know how I will probably feel when the sun's about to appear. Totally zonked and witless I will be. Yoda will agree.

And not to mention how the rest of the day will feel.

And I get up yet again, for the third time.

And so it starts.

My Blog.

Good Morning People.